I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
His hands were made for my vagina.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
