you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
