youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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