I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
