Its about making memories worth repressing
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
