He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
