i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's just like the Real World with babies
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
