If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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