yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
