can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
