Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
