see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize