yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We left the knife in your bed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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