i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
