found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
