put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
