The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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