Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just cut my nipple shaving
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
