is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
