dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
