I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
