Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
