Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
