Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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