You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Rumble strips road head = magical
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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