are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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