I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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