I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
