Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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