Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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