You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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