I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
