i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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