Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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