I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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