all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
