I puked a lego.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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