You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
