If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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