Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
