Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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