just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
