If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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