We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
why is half of my head shaved?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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