Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
