yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
