so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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