I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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