i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
