if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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