if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This is my gift to your gina
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
