Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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