you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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