I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize