How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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