OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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