awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
