There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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