so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
