my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Randomize
