My hand turned me down
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
