We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
