She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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