Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
