Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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